It is not right to expect to be able to hide sin. Jesus berated the scribes and Pharisees for pretending to be what they were not. This is called hypocrisy.
Mat 23:25 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.
If you have said something that was untrue, and if you now realize that you made a mistake about it, or worse, if you have deliberately lied, then you would expect to set it right as far as possible. You are continuing the wrong if you refrain from admitting fault in order to protect yourself.
However there can be circumstances when serious damage can be caused by bringing something into the open. Sin’s damage cannot always be repaired. A person who is driven by a Godly conscience will do his or her best to achieve the best outcome, even if it is just the least worst.
id just like to point out that there is no where in the bible that we are to confess our sins to a person. Sin only occurs against God. We may confess our transgressions or faults to another. It is always good to make right any wrongdoing, but, we can only sin against God. This may be splitting hairs as the NIV bible states we should confess our sins to a person, but this is insiduously evil because we need to realize that sin can only occur towards God and we should repent of our sins for that very reason, that sin is an affront to God, not to people.
I agree that:
a) there is no absolute instruction that every single lie needs to be confessed to a person lied against;
b) that all sin is sin against God.
However I disagree that;
a) no sins are against people;
b) that it is OK to “split hairs”.
Luk 17:3-4 Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, (4) and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
Legalism is finding some legal loophole against the clear intention of God – “splitting hairs” if you like. Legalism is often considered to be primarily condemnation against other people. That is not correct. Legalism is usually finding a way to avoid accepting one’s own responsibility.
Just as Zacchaeus did his best to put right what he had done, so should we.
Luk 19:8-9 And Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, “Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor. And if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I restore it fourfold.” (9) And Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, since he also is a son of Abraham.
It may be that the interests of the injured party would not be helped by a confession directly to him or her, and in that case it would not be “legalistic” to remain silent. However in many (probably most) cases keeping silent would not be in the interests of the injured party.
It is good that you are being conscientious enough to try to find the right thing to do. Without knowing the details, it is not possible for an outside person such as myself to know what that is. However the arguments you have put up appear to be trying to avoid accepting responsibility by trying to make things right. If someone owes you some money and refuses to pay you, do you think that they can just repent of the debt to God, and then make their conscience clear? The principle is clear enough.